Fear can immobilize, but it can also cause people to fill their lives with so many activities that they fail to confront things that they dread or fear doing. On the surface, staying busy can appear to be very productive, but as is often the case, such busy-ness is nothing more than an alias for procrastination. Living one’s life this way is counterproductive, as there will always be the feeling of things left undone even when achieving great things in other areas of life. Unfulfilled and lacking peace, those who use busy-ness as an avoidance tactic must eventually correct this private habit and conquer whatever it is that they are avoiding in order to experience a sense of completeness.
Marriage and Post-Divorce Busy-nessDuring an unhappy marriage and, even after a divorce, a lot of women throw themselves into keeping every moment of their day filled with business meetings, transporting children to activities, studying, cooking, cleaning, shopping and a list of other similar activities. At a glance, one would view such energy as admirable. And, while each is important and a necessary part of living, some women purposely overload their schedules with lengthy to-do lists in an effort to avoid facing their fears. These fears may vary according to the individual woman, but unless this behavior is realized early, such a busy woman risks looking back on her life and realizing that she has wasted a lot of years avoiding issues that she should have dealt with a long time ago.
Getting to the Heart of Busy-ness
If you know in your heart that you are engaging in such busy-ness, take some time out to first admit it to yourself and then decide on making a change. Start by having a heart-to-heart with yourself and ask yourself the following questions:
- What am I avoiding?
- What is avoiding this costing me now?
- What is avoiding this going to cost me if I never face it?
- Does avoiding this give me peace?
- Is my constant state of busy-ness (avoidance) bringing me closer to my goals?
- How is avoiding this making me a better woman?
When considering these questions, also consider the toll that this constant state of busy-ness is taking on your family and other relationships. How often is leisurely time being spent just being in the presence of your children without the need of a defined activity? How are your friendships suffering from your busy schedule? Do you have the time to invest in nurturing relationships with new people that you meet? Finally, how much more could you accomplish if you abandoned unnecessary busy-ness in favor of doing what you know deep down inside you really need to do?
The Anti-Busy-ness Challenge
Chances are, if you’re like most women who devote to busy-ness as an avoidance tactic, the very idea of taking the time to slow down and re-prioritizing your time to make room for things that you’ve been avoiding, gives you a degree of anxiety. You are not alone in that most of society, male and female, embraces such a practice. However, if you dream and hope to live your best life, you must challenge yourself to stop.
Start by looking at today’s list of things you have to do. Eliminate non-essential tasks and, in their place, include steps you need to take to face whatever it is that you’ve feared or dreaded facing. Know that you are a courageous, capable woman and commit to a life of overcoming, while refusing to live a life of avoidance. In the end, you will look back on all that you’ve accomplished and be thankful that you did.